One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
