We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
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I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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