I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So many bounce houses so little time
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
