Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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