tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
