My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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