Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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