its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
