we have pet lesbian snakes
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
