im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
