Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
