it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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