i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize