Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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