your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
