..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I did not marry a roomba.
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