so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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