i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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