My nipple is on Facebook.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
