dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
