Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
