Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
