i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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