I hate all girls vehemently.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
