I wish i was in the wii world.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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