Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
