This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
