I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
