dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
