Betty ford says i'm here all night
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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