So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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