Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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