So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
