Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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