Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize