i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
