I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
