Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
