The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
