Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
