im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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