White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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