She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
