i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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