ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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