Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
