I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
