She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
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I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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