i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize