the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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