Dual....:-)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
