I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
