I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize