i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
