Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
