my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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