i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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