so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
